I'm avoiding old age by living my life in reverse

I am working very hard at avoiding old age. I turned 60 this year, and while I never gave age a second thought when I turned 40 or 50, now I'm annoyed at my age. 60 sounds old. So I decided to live my life backwards, and no, not like that stupid movie about the guy who actually aged in reverse. I'm serious and this is actually possible. I never got to have a real childhood, and I'm not going to depress you with the details. However, I thought about this a lot and decided that I should get to have fun and I should get to have my irresponsible teen years, so I'm going to do it in my 60's and 70's. If you see a weird old lady screaming down the street on a dirtbike it will probably be me. I'm not going to keep up my lawn either. I'm going to start swearing more and just telling people what I REALLY think. Whatch out for old ladies, we can be cranky and bitchy. Now, how do I do the middle finger salute?

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