- Opossums – 1
- Squirrel – 1
- Rat – 1
- Unidentified – 1
Apparently I’m either driving less while still using the amount of gas (yes, I’m one of those people who write it down when I fill up my gas tank), or the eagles are cleaning up the carcasses, or we’ve already killed all the animals that wanted to cross the road.
I have listed a few explanations of why chickens cross roads. The same arguments could be made for virtually any creature attempting to cross a road.
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
Mohammed Aldouri (Iraqi ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don’t even have a chicken.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
George W. Bush: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned,because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your point of view.
It is interesting to note that no one brought up the question of why the road was there in the first place, necessitating the crossing therof by various beings.
Wrap your head around that.