You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘famous quotes’ category.

What is that in the middle of the road?

Sorry, I know this is insensitive, but still funny, kinda.

 

Oh, it’s been pretty dark every day on the way to and from work, so I can’t see anything dead on the road, unless it would be the size of a deer, and no, I haven’t seen a dead deer lately. So, no roadkill count.

I was in San Diego for 7 days, but I don’t recall seeing any roadkill there, either. The only time I was out of the city was on the drive to Los Angeles, to visit Disneyland, and I didn’t see any dead stuff on the road.  I suspect that the sheer terror of being in a car on the road in San Diego was distracting me from looking at the pavement for roadkill. I kept finding myself slamming my foot on the floor to stop before we hit the car in front of us, or continually tightening my seat belt as we swerved in and out of continually merging traffic.

I left Seattle partly because of the insanity of the roads there, and the fact that the city kept paying millions of dollars for multiple sports arenas, but could not build a decent light rail system. Their answer to traffic problems seems to be to add toll roads, good thinking Seattle, that’ll keep more people off the road. Right.

Southern California is all desert and I wonder what the population density of animals might be. I suspect there are fewer animals per square mile, as there is less water and vegetation to munch, hence, fewer dead on the road.

Alfred Hitchcok quotes:

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

Give them pleasure – the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.

I’ll conclude with my favorite comedian, Lily Tomlin:

No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.

The Hamster report

Advertisements

OK, the sad tally this week on Whatcom County roads I have travelled:’

  • Raccoon – 1
  • Bird (Seagull, maybe) – 1
  • Unidentified – 2
  • Deer – 1 (I think it was, the leg looked like a deer’s)

Well, I was thinking of listing some funny and insightful (yes, they can be both) quotes on the meaning of life. Why is it that they mostly seem to be along the lines of inspiration, love one another, etc.? Not to be too much of a downer (although I am an avowed pessimist), some of us humans, for long periods of time, cannot find anyone we give a whit about who cares about us? I swear, I am not going out on the streets and just find strangers and  . . . wait a minute, that sounds umm . . . very improper. Like I said. Just advising us to “love one another” and assuming we have someone to love, is really putting the cart before the horse.

Sort of like the Groucho Marx quote:

“I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me for members.” 

Oooo, I like this one: “Getting older is no problem, you just have to live long enough.”

“I find television very educating. Every time someone turns one on, I go in another room and read a book.”

” I intend to live forever, or die trying.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.”

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”

“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them . . . well, I have others.”

“Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?”

So there you go, some insane sanity from the late, great Groucho Marx.

Groucho Marx – he was great!
 
Hamster report

 

Alright, the tally this week is:

  • Coyote – 1
  • Opossums – 3
  • Squirrel – 2
  • Birds – 3
  • Unidentified – 2

Ok, I don’t have any fresh insights today that wouldn’t cause you to run screaming off a cliff, so here are some “jokes”:

“He’s turned his life around. He used to be miserable and depressed, now he’s depressed and miserable.” – David Frost

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” – Anonymous

“Life is wasted on the living.” – Douglas Adams

“Life is like playing the violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes along.” – Samuel Butler

“In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.” – Kathy Norris

“Live every day as if it were your last, and then someday you’ll be right.” – Anonymous

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” – Groucho Marx

“It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another – it’s one damn thing over and over.” – Edna St. Vincent Millay

“The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.” – Clarence Darrow

“My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.” – Rita Rudner

By the way, did you read the article “Overworked America: the great speed-up?”  That will depress you. Americans work (if you can find a job) hundreds of hours a year more than ANY other country, with fewer benefits and little or no paid vacation. Welcome to the third world.

Hamsterdreams

Statistics on USA road kill:

1) 4 million Miles of roads in the United States.

2) 226 million Number of vehicles registered in the United States.

3) 23 trillion Vehicle miles traveled in the United States in 2002

4) 6.3 million Number of automobile accidents annually in the United States

5) 253,000 Number of animal-vehicle accidents annually

6) 50 Estimated percentage of vehicle-large animal collisions that go unreported.

7) 90 Percentage of animal-vehicle collisions that involve deer

8) $2,000 Average minimum cost for repairing a vehicle after a collision with a deer

9) 1 million Number of vertebrates run over each day in the United States (a rate of one every 11.5 seconds).

10) 200 Number of human deaths annually resulting from vehicle-wildlife collisions.

Take note of item 10 –  if you do not feel that the deaths of millions of non-human animals is reason to stop the road kill.

I’m not going to post pictures any more of the killed mammals and reptiles, theuy are too upsetting. Imagine how upsetting pictures of mangled people would be.

Why am I doing the road kill friday reports? I started off doing this because there is some “gallows humor” around this topic that is very funny.

But the more I learn, I find that this has evolved, for me, into a desire to get drivers to stop the massacre; I guess if I had thought about it much, I did not think that there were so many animal deaths.

This weeks personal Whatcom County roadkill report:

  • Birds – 2
  • Duck – 1
  • Squirrels – 4
  • Unidentified – 4
  • Opossums – 2
  • Mouse – 1

Quotes from Buzz.com:

“Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.”

“Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.”

“The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.”

The light at the end of the tunnel

The light at the end of the tunnel

“People who think they know what they’re doing are especially annoying to those of us who do.”

“I don’t know, I don’t care, and it doesn’t make any difference.”

Hamster report

I’m taking a break from working out at the gym because of all the responsibilities I’ve taken on or had thrust upon me.  Lets see, lets make a list, shall we? 

86 year old mom; rotting deck removal & replacement; accounting classes due to no more engineering jobs; volunteering at a Habitat House construction; and to top it all off, I have a cold that won’t go away.

I’m dragging myself around, my legs feel like lead and I keep wanting to fall asleep at odd times. 

Ok, enough of that.  Have you had dreams of what you would really like to be doing?  I have.  All my life, what I really wanted was to have a little cabin in the mountains; no electricity, no running water, no phones, no neighbors (at least not close enough to see from my windows).  Tall evergreens, snow in the winter, rain in the summer, surrounded by snow capped mountains and evergreen trees as far as I can see.  That was my dream, and still is.

My favorite view - the mountains!

My favorite view - the mountains!

Do you have any idea how hard it is to do that?  It’s impossible is how hard.  It takes money, and I don’t have it.  Well, not be too down, I love living in the Pacific Northwest and I can run off to the mountains any time I can get away from my responsibilities, which isn’t very often, but at least I can see the mountains from where I live, and they are only an hour away!

Tell me your dreams and how you have or have not accomplished them – and if not, how you plan on doing them.

“The smaller the head, the bigger the dream.”
—Austin O’Malley

“It is such stuff and nonsense that dreams are made of.”—Clifton Fadiman

“Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.”
Author: Tupac Shakur

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.”
Author: Henry David Thoreau

Sayanara, the hamster soldiers on.

Advertisements