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The guilty parties

Squeak is the one with her back to the camera.Typical criminal behavior - keep your face hidden.

OK, I have two cats. They look very much alike, except that one, Cleo, has white paws and chest and Squeak does not. They are not related, not that it matters, they are sisters now, since they live in the same house and are stuck with each other. It’s like that song that goes “We are family, I have all my sisters with me . . . ”

Yes, I’ve been watching Birdcage, again. One of the funniest movies ever made. Brian Lane is hilarious and the guy who plays their “maid”, Agadore is great – Hank Azaria.

So, anyway, back to my cats. Squeak’s favorite thing is playing in their water dish. She splashes it all onto the floor and watches it gurgle more water into the dish. It’s one of those water dishes that has a “tank” sitting on top of the water dish, and as the cats drink the water, more dribbles down into the bowl.  At least that is the way it is supposed to work.

OK, so I didn't get her batting the water out of the bowl. She seems to know I don't like that, so she tends not to do it in front of me. Alright, so I just don't have the patience, OK?

Squeak has discovered that she enjoys playing in the water. I have to refill the water tank twice a week, and my floor is covered with water. I have started keeping towels under the water dish, but sometimes I come home and there is so much water on the floor that the towel is soaked and there are puddles all around the towel.  Sometimes when I pick her up, she is so wet from playing in the water that her paws are soaked and partway up her legs the fur is all wet.

Sometimes I suspect she is a gangster cat and there are tattoos under her fur – like the thugs who shave their heads and tattoo them, and then maybe let the hair/ fur grow back?

She is definitely the troublemaker in our house. Cleo is mostly well-behaved, but not so much, Squeak. Every time I am anywhere near, but not in, the kitchen I can hear a “thunk” as she jumps off the kitchen counter where she has been scrounging, looking for food I assume. I never leave food on the counter anymore, since Squeak came to live with me; not even a spoon. I caught her licking out a spoon one day. Yuck! Cat cooties!

This is the cat version of "No pictures, no pictures". Hard to identify, right?

I thought of putting a little water in the tub to see if she would play in that water instead the drinking bowl, but my tub doesn’t hold water for more than an hour or so, it gradually drains out. So, that doesn’t work very well.

Hamster report

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Typical Post Office in December

I’m not sure whether to blame my kids for moving so far away, or the Post Office for being inefficient, or the clowns masquerading as Senators who made the Post Office fund their pension fund for 75 years out into the future.  If you don’t know about that, look it up, there were plenty of articles on it recently.

See Okinawa? Tiny little dot to the southwest of Japan mainland

So a week ago, I spent half an hour in line at the P.O. to mail packages to my granddaughter and my son in California. Then last night, I spent another 1/2 hour doing the same for my son in Japan. Unfortunately, I was almost through the line before I realized I hadn’t filled out the forms required to mail stuff overseas. So I squatted down and used one of my boxes for a table and started filling a form out.

It is inconvenient, to say the least, to keep squatting down and writing, then having to keep getting up as the line moves. If I had a small box I could stand up and use it for a table, holding it, but the boxes were just a little bit too big to do that. So, I was squatting, getting up, squatting, getting up, it was tedious and in spite of my athletic activities, it was hard to do by about the 10th squat.

I can’t wait till I’m 70, that’ll be tons of fun.

When I was done I decided to go get some booze, the liquore store is just across the street.

Hamster report

 

Ok . . . . this weeks gruesome tally:

  • Skunk – 1 (this is my first)
  • Raccoon – 2
  • Oppossums – 4
  • Bird – 1
  • Something really small – 1
  • Squirrel – 1

So, watch for the critters, please, and don’t hit them if you can avoid it. My son once told me that he spotted a driver just ahead of him, swerving to hit a coyote!  He was very upset, and I don’t blame him. He has been to Iraq twice and has seen the human carnage. To see people deliberately try to kill an innocent life was beyond comprehension.

What is the matter with us? Have many of us lost any ability to feel for another living being? It reminds me of the political rally, I don’t recall who the Republican on stage was, but he was asked a hypothetical question by the moderator, “If a man did not have health insurance, and got deathly ill, should society pay for his hospital bill?”

The audience, amazingly, roared out “No!”. Is this what we have become? Are we all a bunch of Roman Gladiators in the arena, fighting and killing just to survive? Have we lost the ability to feel for the other person?

Ok, that’s my rant for the week, I guess. Here is something more soothing:

Marmot on Yellow Aster Butte trail

The Most Embarrassing Moments Ever!

Let’s face it – we’ve all had our share of embarrassing moments. Just be thankful that none of them were as humiliating (and hilarious!) as these:

“A mother was taking a shower when her2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so she ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that she had copies made and included one with each of their Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting that she take a closer look. Puzzled, the mother stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to her son, she had captured her reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera!”

“A woman and her sister were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As they were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if they needed any help. The woman replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” The sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and she turned beet red and walked away.”

“A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE.” That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word ‘Tampax’ for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, “Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?” She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed. The young woman waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, “I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments.” The cunning guy now yells loudly, “What do you mean by $500?”

Hamster report

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